How to live forever and change the world

Here's inspiration from a young man who once portrayed my character's son in an indie film....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHNALcttrQo

Time to Insight

I can’t regret what I did for computing, because computing has always helped me to think more clearly and live more openly.

A recent Microsoft marketing video reinforces, in a wonderfully abstract yet technical way, how state-of-the art data processing principles accelerate “time to insight”—what a lovely turn of phrase!

We could all improve our performance intervals from ignorance to insight, in relationships, in our art, in our work.  The best uses of computing power enrich our lives by increasing our awareness.

Keeping Up with Oneself

I am naturally inclined to having a “big picture” mentality—witness this blog.  I seem to have countless projects running in my head, countless more untethered ideas, vignettes of possibilities that bubble up in my awareness which I often scramble to write down before they pop into extinction, leaving a filmy trace of their promise.

Over time I have come to feel like I am not simply pursuing my dreams, but am racing breathlessly after them as they recede.  I’ve accomplished much, but so much more I only imagine I complete.

I had a friend when I was in my twenties who wanted to be an artist, a sculptor.  He spent some of his artistic energy collecting barrels of objects he imagined he’d one day make into works of art.  The rest of his time he spent planning, specifically drafting plans, like an architect designing structures.  These two efforts left virtually no time for building things, and when he’d occasionally attempt to do so he was at once dissatisfied with the result and taken aback by the amount of time making things actually required.  He decided, quite courageously I felt at the time, to stop attempting to make art.  He got rid of his barrels of stuff and just drew his plans for all the pieces he’d never complete, arguably never begin.

Our society emphasizes results and winning competitions, over process and thought.  We need things done, of course, but we need to improve how we do them and, more importantly, more fully consider what we’re doing in the first place and at milestones along the way.  A good software developer knows that time spent in analysis reduces time spent in coding and testing.  But we’re pushed to meet deadlines and have become inured to continually returning to the drawing board to come up with the next best thing, to produce new versions of everything from the latest couture to the latest weaponry.

But I digress, as I so often do when related ideas burst in my brain.  My point, my original point, was not to lament how our society stresses us to achieve, but to consider my friend the (former?) artist and his solution to his dilemma, and how I find myself barely able to keep up with my own plans, especially those plans which I have not yet given up on completing.

So, considering my own dilemma, here are a few thoughts for now:

I am losing the race to finish the things I’ve started.  I am old enough to have physical file folders the contents of which are yellow with age, and which I examine as if they were gathered, written, composed by some ancestor of mine, not myself. 

Instead of a “bucket list”—I have that in spades—I have a list of projects I know I will never complete.  In the manner of my friend, I’m calling them done before they’re even fully developed.  I have made peace with myself that I can’t do everything I propose to do.

I am considering exit strategies, ways to respect my ideas, my accomplishments, my failures, my best intentions, so that the chaos of my attempts at living well has more form to it—a theme, perhaps.  Some of my impulse here is leaving a legacy, I’m sure.  But more immediately, I need a better coping mechanism than chasing after illusions.  I need to more realistically manage my expectations, and this means continuing to improve on how I get things done, when I can expect to complete projects, and whether I want to follow some paths at all or not.

Maybe in simply writing this I’ve solved my dilemma, solving it by identifying it as a meta-project, a project of projects, and admitting to myself that catching up with myself is a task I’ll never complete.

Question Authority

We rarely consider the ways we lend authority to others, don’t always perceive we do.  

Certainly there are authorities, governments, churches, team leaders, chairpersons, parents, who command authority.  All derive it ultimately from the consent and acquiescence of the governed.  This is inherently neither good nor bad, but we should consider any authority’s validity.   

Often we grant authority without realizing we are, obey perceived requirements which are no more than someone else’s agenda, authorized only by our submission to it.

When we hesitate to do things on account of what others think, question their authority to prevent us.

Aging Is Just All Right

"Do you know why women look away when you pass them on the street?"

"Why?"

"Because they're dazzled.  Why wouldn't they fall for you?  Don't you know how extraordinary you are?  Look at yourself, there's so much to see.  The older we get, the more precious we are.  That's what you've missed, you haven't understood that."

"Hadn't thought of it like that, no."

"Think of it that way.  It's the right way, the only way."

─An older man talking to a much older man, from the film, Man on the Train.

One Question

There are many answers.  Some insist there’s just one, for example:  Jesus Christ is the answer.

There are countless questions, but I long ago decided there’s just one:  Why?

An Insight into Inaction

Identity

In 2009, author Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love) recorded a TED talk on nurturing creativity. It amounts to a surprising piece of practical advice for my fellow artists. Unlike her, I doubt there’s much of me outside of myself, but like her, I feel an elemental force within me, almost a separate entity.

My “genius”looks like Alec Guiness. When I was a boy, his name was Gopy (pronounced “Go pee”—which suggests his moniker’s etymology) , which became more formally “Alpha” when I became an adult. Alpha resides somewhere deep behind my eyes. Unlike Ms. Gilbert, I feel quite whole and self-contained, just not entirely of one mind.

Life Time

When you’re young, a year is a long time, too long to count on most of your plans working out—life will switch everything up. From one year to the next, you change in unexpected ways, lose interest in favorite pastimes, and lose yourself in new activities.

You feel like you'll live forever. You dream of your future, and make each day count.

When you’re old, a year is a long time, too long to count on most of your plans working out—life will switch everything up. From one year to the next, you change in unexpected ways, lose interest in favorite pastimes, and lose yourself in new activities.

You feel like you've lived forever. You dream of your past, and make each day count.

Questions are Answers

Most good books, rather than provide answers, clarify questions.